a certain kind of calculus

sitting at a party, chatted with an older woman about nothing in particular. except i noticed she acted like a much younger, shallower woman than she really was. i moved on to smoke and my place was taken by another. later, i was chatting with that other and the older woman came up as the other went away. you're my favorite she said to him. she turned to me and said:

"you were my first favorite, but you're so inaccessible."


sitting at a table at a bar with my friend and her two friends. one of her friends was telling me all about herself. they were an odd pair of partners, these two friends. the acted like they had their own private universe. she does conceptual art. she takes notes on conversations while they happen. i asked her about her art and she said:

"you wouldn't understand."