The Cab Driver Who Ripped Me Off

by Cornelius Eady

That’s right, said the cab driver,

Turning the corner to the

Round-a-bout way,

Those stupid, fuckin’ beggars,

You know the guys who

Walk up to my cab

With their hands extended

And their little cups?

You know their problem?

You know what’s wrong with them?

They ain’t got no brains.

I mean, they don’t know nothin’

’cause if they had brains

They’d think of a way

To find a job.

You know what one of ’em told me once?

He said what he did,

Begging

He said it was work.

Begging

Was work.

And I told him

Straight to his face:

That ain’t work.

You think that’s work?

Let me tell you what work is:

Work is something that you do

That’s of value

To someone else.

Now you take me.

It takes brains to do

What I do.

You know what I think?

I think they ought to send

All these beggars over

To some other country,

Any country,

It don’t matter which,

For 3, 4, years,

Let them wander around

Some other country,

See how they like that.

We ought to make a

National program

Sending them off

To wander about

Some other country

For a few years,

Let ’em beg over there,

See how far it gets them.

I mean, look at that guy

You know, who was big

In the sixties,

That drug guy,

Timothy Leary?

Yeah, he went underground,

Lived overseas.

You know what?

A few years abroad

And he was ready to

Come back

On any terms.

He didn’t care if

They arrested him.

He said

The U.S. is better

Than any country

In the world.

Send them over there

For a few years.

They’d be just like him.

This is the greatest country

In the whole world.

Timothy Leary

Was damn happy

To get back here,

And he’s doing fine.

Look at me.

I used to be like that.

I used to live underground.

I came back.

I think all those beggars got

a mental block.

I think you should do something.

I mean, you ought to like

what you do,

But you should do something.

Something of use

To the community.

All those people,

Those bums,

Those scam artists,

Those hustlers,

Those drug addicts,

Those welfare cheats,

Those sponges.

Other than that

I don’t hold nothin’

Against no one.

Hey, I picked you up.